Part of me feels like it's best not to overdescribe myself as to let people come to their own conclusions and stuff, but part of me knows that I am objectively a very strange creature individual person and that there's probably a lot of things that people would prefer to know about me.

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I primarily use he/him pronouns, but I am also fine with they/them and very much like it/its, but I'd like people who don't know me very well to refrain from using it/its.

I am a femboy, so I'm fine with compliments and whatever that people would consider to be "feminine"!

I am a pup of 20 years!

I really love talking to people! I also like all sorts of media - videogames, literature, movies, everything, of all types! I am a certified enjoyer!

I really like being talked to, please never be nervous or whatever about saying things to me!

I have an extremely hard time with people who won't be upfront and honest. Please don't lie to me, regardless of whatever intentions you may have ._.

Stuff that's perhaps a bit heavy, but important:

I am, at the time of writing (10/07/2024 - make this show on a hover later!), somewhat of an extremely lonely person and have been for just about all of my life. I've only really had maybe one or two friends (other than myself) ever, and I'm not even 100% confident in saying that they were truly friends. I also don't really get much social interaction besides, especially not on the long-term. There's never really been any communities that've accepted me, and any I find myself gone from any I involve myself with within a month, if not much sooner. I don't think I've ever actively spoken to anyone (or any group of people) for more than a year, and it's usually much, much shorter than that. I'm often lucky to have two weeks. Despite all of this, I am inextricably extroverted. And trust me, I have tried so, so hard to change that; it's just not a thing that I can change about myself. I am telling you this because I think it'll help you get an idea of why I may have some of the strange habits I have, and why I may seem to have a confusing and stunted relationship with social things.

My life is largely lived in cycles. I'll have periods of growth and self-love - "happiness", feeling confident in myself and excited to go out and meet the world, and then it'll all come crashing down impossibly fast, usually from a single mildly negative experience or interaction, and then I'll enter a long period of spiriling downwards. Self-hatred, depression, suicidal ideation, self-isolation, that sort of thing. I have been somewhat stuck for the past 4+ years of my life, not really managing to make much meaningful headway. Sure I've changed and grown a lot as a person, but by any/all material metrics, my life has functionally stayed identical since I turned 16. I'm almost 21 now. No amount of self-awareness of any of this has seemed to do much for me, but maybe that'll change someday...

I have developed a perhaps-strange relationship with myself. I think it resembles plurality at times, and I might possibly discover I am plural someday, but currently, I don't feel it's exactly that. I do feel that I have separate consciousnesses in a way, but what separates them is time. I'll write messages and notes - sometimes to my past self, sometimes for the current self, and sometimes for a future self. Often times I know it's for a specific future self which I know will exist one-day, but currently does not. As I've mentioned, my life is largely lived in cycles, so I have somewhat of an idea of what different stages of myself during those cycles thinks/feels, so I can talk to them to try to ease them through their pain, or try to caution their excitement. I will look back on these messages and try to connect with the person I was when I wrote them. I'll try to listen to their advices and words, as if they were from a close friend. In a way they are - it took sometime, but I do consider myself to be a friend now, after all we've been through together, and how much we care about ourself... well, hopefully. X3

I find I have trouble when I lose awareness of these cycles, when I forgot what'll happen if I'm not careful; what has already happened so many times before. I'm sure that's not the only thing, but I do feel it's a large part of it.